Aleya Mishell was born and raised in Maryland. Being an avid reader since early
childhood, she has read thousands of books. Aleya Mishell has also had a passion
for writing. She’s penned many creative short stories. After becoming a teacher,
and inspiring children to follow their dreams, Aleya Mishell decided to follow
through with this one of hers. She has balanced her time among teaching, writing,
and family. Aleya Mishell currently resides in Baltimore with her husband, and their
three daughters. She is working on her next novel.
Devin is a good boy forced by life to do bad….that is until fate causes him to face his darkest secret and biggest regret…..Can he come to terms with his past without losing the greatest love in his life? Life has a way of changing in an instant and leaving you…..Conflicted
I stood looking out the window in my uncle’s small bathroom, listening to Ashanti’s Rain On Me on my IPod, deep in thought. I had been staying with Uncle Dame for just over a week now, and I was more than ready to go home. I was an unwelcome visitor and Dame was not going out of his way to make me feel welcome. His late night business dealings and visits from various women had not ceased because I was there. My headphones had become my best friend as I tried to drown out the sounds of his headboard hitting the wall.
Despite the fact that he had never been anything but nice to me, I couldn’t stand Dame. He had never physically hurt me; and I didn’t have any stories of an inappropriate uncle to share. He had even taken me in to look out for me when my mother decided to enter rehab for the umpteenth time. However, as much as he tried to hide it from me, I knew what he did for a living. I knew that he was responsible for selling the same thing that had taken my mother from me on many occasions.
Even when she was not away in rehab, my mother was an absentee parent. The streets were her best friend and she spent much of my childhood either high or chasing her next high. I never knew my father; he married my mother right out of high school, but left her when the next pretty thing came along. That’s when my mother first starting getting high. It didn’t matter that she was five months pregnant with me. She was going to do whatever she could do to alleviate the pain. My mother actually named me Miracle because she said it was a miracle I was born with ten fingers and ten toes after all the shit she had done in the second half of her pregnancy.
I sighed as my current favorite song came to an end. I could relate to the pain she sang about, even though I wasn’t a scorned lover. I was in pain, sometimes I didn’t want to live, and I did question why God didn’t just take my pain away. Growing up without my mother was tough, and as I entered adulthood without a female role model, it became even harder.
I slid my headphones out of my ears and sat my iPod on top of the toilet seat. I pulled my shirt over my head and slid down my shorts and underwear. I turned to enter the shower and jumped as I saw the two figures standing in my bathroom door. I would’ve thought that they were friends visiting Dame, but their masked face and gloved hands, gave away their true intentions.
I grabbed at a towel to cover my body and backed away as far as I could, until I could feel my back touch the wall. I was silent, too scared to talk, as I could see their eyes studying me through the slits in their masks.
There were two of them. One standing slightly behind the other. The one in front was taller, looked stronger. The one in the back was much shorter, maybe shorter than me. The guy in the front walked towards me, holding a gun in his hand. “Where’s Damon?” he asked, standing directly in front of me.
I opened my mouth to talk, but no words escaped. I shook my head no and managed to whisper that I didn’t know. He nodded and turned, I hoped to leave. As quickly as that thought came, it left, as he turned around and traced the edge of my towel with his gun. “Damon owes me something, and since he’s not here to pay me, I guess you are going to have to.” I cried, because I knew what he meant.
Amari jumping on my bed saved me from the rest of this nightmare, and I was grateful for the interruption. “Morning Mama,” he said, as he slid under the covers next to me and laid his face on my pillow. I kissed his forehead and hugged him, thanking God for my little man.
My nightmare was one that I had quite often, a recurring one since I was raped in my Uncle Damon’s bathroom by two men when I was seventeen. They took my virginity and my innocence, but one of them left me with my son, and for that I was grateful. I looked at my son, who was now snoring beside me, and smiled. Despite how he was conceived, I loved him wholeheartedly, and could not imagine life without him.
I remember when Damon found me on the floor of his apartment, naked and bleeding. He panicked, and when I told him that the men who had done this were looking for something he owed them, he cried. He cleaned me up as best as he could, and apologized over and over again. He explained why he couldn’t take me to the hospital for treatment and I understood. Despite my feelings toward him, I felt even more vulnerable now than before, and I didn’t want to be alone. However, the inevitable did happen because three weeks later Damon was gunned down as he walked to his car.
I was seventeen, broken and alone. I had no money, and no place to go. I met Sheila when I ended up in the woman’s shelter where she worked at the time, and she instantly took a liking to me. I felt comfortable enough to share my story with her, and we cried together. It was Sheila who took me to the doctor to get checked out, and she held my hand when the doctor informed me that while my HIV test was negative, my pregnancy test was positive.
The ringing of my cell phone interrupted my thoughts and I smiled slightly when I saw Devin’s number flash on my screen. My smile disappeared when I thought of how I had rushed off the night before. He must’ve thought I was crazy. I couldn’t explain what happened, and when the phone finally stopped ringing, I breathed a sigh of relief.
When Devin took his phone call from his friend the night before, I could hear him through the phone. There was something about his voice that was so unsettling to me, that it sent chills down my spine. I felt vulnerable, and uncomfortable, and I needed to escape. How could I ever explain this to Devin without him thinking I was losing it?
When my phone rang again I smiled. He was persistent. I liked that. I took a deep breath and decided to answer. I had been through hell and back already, and one phone call with this man wouldn’t kill me.
After being betrayed by the man who promised to protect her heart, Miracle finds herself in the exact same predicament….pregnant and alone. Devin’s decisions are affecting everyone around him, and he’s unsure of how to correct his mistakes. Where do his loyalties lay and how do you make the right decision when you are conflicted?
I stood under the shower with my eyes closed. I had fucked up. Again. Miracle was pregnant. Carmen was pregnant. And I didn’t know if either one of the babies were mine. I sighed. If I wanted to be completely honest, I knew Carmen’s baby was mine. We had been fucking like rabbits over the past few weeks, and I had hit it raw on more than a few occasions. She said she hadn’t been with anyone else and I believed her. Before I gave her the key back she had given me free reign of her condo. There’s no way she was fucking anybody else with the way I was coming and going in that place.
Banging my head on the wall softly, I laughed. There was no way I could tell Miracle this shit, no way we could come back from this. I couldn’t just ignore Carmen and the fact that she was pregnant though. How could I say the hell with the girl who I was almost sure was pregnant with my seed to be with the girl whose baby I wasn’t sure about? Damn. I loved Miracle, but there was something about Carmen that just kept pulling me in.
I smiled, thinking back to the time we spent together in her kitchen. She knew she had me from the minute she walked away, leaving me standing in her living room. I was going to go home. I wanted to go home, but I followed her. I kissed her, and when she kissed me back I knew I wasn’t going home until I felt her. Probably more than once. We didn’t even make it to the bedroom. I pulled down her shorts and when I saw she wasn’t wearing any underwear it was on.
I lifted her on the counter and dove in. Kissing her inner thighs as I inhaled her scent, I licked her clit and grabbed her bottom, pulling her closer to me. She gasped as she slid towards the end of the counter and I laughed, holding her tightly. I looked up at her and smiled. Her hair had fallen loose and she was palming her own breasts, rubbing them gently. She had thrown one leg over my shoulder, while the other rested on the counter top. I could tell she was almost there when she began grinding in my face and biting her bottom lip. I eyed her shaking leg out of the corner of my eye, as she clawed at my back, moaning quietly. I pulled away, and stood up straight, wiping her juices from my mouth as I looked into her eyes. Unbuckling my belt, I dropped my pants, and tapped her leg. “Turn over,” I ordered.
She followed my direction without hesitation, sliding off the counter and turning around, bending over it. I groaned out loud, reaching out and touching her ass, trying to remember if it was as soft as it looked. It was.
I jumped, hearing the shower curtain move behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. Miracle. I wouldn’t look at her, refused to turn around; afraid that she would see my betrayal if she looked into my eyes. Her belly pressed against my back, and she leaned her head against my back, wrapping her arms around me. I grabbed her hands and held them tightly, closing my eyes. I needed to get my shit together and soon – before I lost both of them.
She kissed my back softly, rubbing her fingers across my chest. I groaned as she reached around me and her warm hand touched my dick, pulling it softly. I knew what she wanted and I tried to resist, but my body had a mind of its own and responded to her touch, even though I didn’t want to. Turning, I grabbed her neck, kissing her roughly. Pushing her against the wall gently, I used my knee to separate her thighs, using one hand to caress her breasts while the other played between her legs. She gasped, throwing her head back and worked her hips against my fingers. I could tell she was close to exploding when she worked her hips faster and laid her head against my chest. I stopped.
She opened her eyes and looked at me, biting her lips seductively. Lifting her slightly, I eased into her slowly, never breaking eye contact. Burying my face into her neck, I closed my eyes tightly, trying to forget that I was with Carmen less than three hours ago. I moved faster remembering how I palmed her ass from behind. I kissed her neck recalling how she dropped to her knees and swallowed me whole, licking the shaft. I forced my tongue down her throat, reminiscing about how she met me stroke for stroke. I came.
I could tell from the expression on her face that she didn’t, but I was too tired to care. Turning away from her again, I grabbed my washcloth and the soap and quickly washed up. I rinsed the soap off my body, and stepped out the shower, leaving her standing there. Dressing quickly, I grabbed my things and left the bathroom, heading towards the couch in the basement. I was sure I was going to end up there tonight anyway.
May as well go ahead and get comfortable.